


I'll throw away my faith just to keep you safe

by Madalena



Series: We Built a Dynasty Like Nothing Ever Made [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magical Rituals, Protective Alec Lightwood, angelic artifacts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-07 04:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14663403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madalena/pseuds/Madalena
Summary: After the bombshell of precisely what ancient artifact is harming Magnus, Isabelle and Jace have to stop Alec from spiraling further out of control, for Magnus’ sake as much as their own, as they struggle to find a cure.But outside the Los Angeles Institute infirmary, the world continues to turn - and with it come the demands of leadership that threaten to drive Alec to the breaking point.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And we're back! I'd hoped to post this yesterday, but with AO3 having problems, seemed better to wait until today, when hopefully things are back up and running?
> 
> Title is from "Angel with a Shotgun" by The Cab. I know I've used a line from this song as a title before, but I can't help using it again, since it is the perfect Lightwood song (and someone's made an awesome Lightwood video with the song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S17fGPX81b4)).

“The Book of Raziel.” Alec repeated slowly. “You’re sure?”

Gurak nodded. “Brother Zachariah was here. He confirmed it.”

“So a warlock had a book of angelic magic - a book of angelic magic so powerful that no one even believed it was real - and no one else knew about it until now? No one else had ever seen it?”

“It had to have been seen in the past, certainly, for the legends to exist.” Adalina said. “Legends exist for a reason.”

“Okay, so if we know what it is, we can use it to help Magnus, right? Did Brother Zachariah take it with him? I need to go to the Silent City and talk to them then.”

Adalina looked pained. “He couldn’t take it with him. Not in its current state.”

Alec frowned. “What do you mean? What’s stopping them?”

“It’s… it’s best you see for yourself.” Gurak said. “See Magnus for yourself. Behind that privacy screen.”

Alec looked around the infirmary, trying to find where they’d put Magnus. His eyes finally settled on the far corner, and Alec almost tripped over his own feet in his rush to get there. He yanked the screen aside to see his husband laid out on the bed.

“No.” Alec whispered in horror, dropping to his knees beside the bed. “No. Why would Raziel do this to Magnus? _Why_?”

Alec could well see why the Silent Brothers hadn’t been able to take the book with them - or rather, chose not to, for in centuries past, Alec knew that the Clave would have certainly killed Magnus and gotten on with it. But it was a testament to the work that the _Diaitites_ had been doing that the Silent Brothers felt secure in leaving the greatest angelic artifact out of their control until such a point that it could be removed without endangering Magnus’ life.

Because the Book of Raziel was seared into his skin.

“I don’t believe it was the Angel’s wish to do it, if it is any consolation.” Gurak said, coming up behind Alec. “Once you’ve transfered power into a physical object, you give up control on how it is used. That is how it works for warlocks, and like as not it is the same for angels and demons as well.”

“And nothing you’ve thought of is able to remove it?”

“There’s nothing we warlocks can do about it. And neither can the Silent Brothers. The approach that you had with the books when they were under the binding was right - by maintaining that balance in their connection with your joint angelic and demonic energies, the books remained stable. But when the boy threw the book at Magnus and didn’t allow any angelic energies to tether it, either from you or his own latent Shadowhunter abilities… frankly, the only reason Magnus is still alive is because of his bond to you. Otherwise the angelic power of the book would have destroyed the demonic power within him, and him along with it.”

“Wait. This sounds familiar. This sounds like what happened to me. What made me what I am. Conflicts of angelic and demonic energies.”

“It is not dissimilar. But they are not within him, they are simply around him, so performing the same ritual that was done on you wouldn’t help him. Your dual-powered magic is what broke the binding between the two volumes, so at least Magnus’ well-being isn’t contingent on the failing binding between the books remaining stable.”

“So what you’re saying is is that my special brand of magic is required to help Magnus, am I right?”

“Yes. But like as not it will not be as simple as you’d hope.”

Alec sighed, resting his forehead against the bed. “When is it ever?”

No response was forthcoming, and Alec was too tired and heartsick to want to continue a conversation anyway. Soon he heard the others move away, leaving him alone next to Magnus’ bedside.

Alec took a deep breath, lifting his head, looking over Magnus’ body again. Magnus usually looked peaceful as he slept, but his expression now was anything but. His brow furrowed, eyes clenched painfully shut, mouth contorted into grimaces and silent screams, and Alec’s heart ached at the sight.

Whatever dream world Magnus was in, he was not at peace. It was full of pain and terror, and only now, belatedly, did Alec notice that the runes that bound him to Magnus were burning and bleeding.

Not knowing if it was a good idea or not, given the circumstances, but wanting to provide any sort of reassurance to Magnus that he could, Alec reached for Magnus’ hand, squeezing it tightly when there was no negative reaction to their hands touching, bringing it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to Magnus’ skin.

This twist of their wrists brought their Wedded Union runes in contact with each other, and Alec almost choked as his senses were overwhelmed with the smell and taste of sulphur and tar, the lick of flames burning along his skin, Magnus’ screams echoing in his ears. Just as he reflexively jerked his hand free, a shudder of calm peace swept through his binding runes, a momentary flicker, as Magnus’ hand dropped back to the bed.

Adalina was by his side in an instant, looking worried. Alec frowned. “What? What did you see?”

“You screamed.” Adalina said. “I was worried. Did you touch him?”

Alec nodded. “Took his hand. Kissed it. It was fine - fine until our Wedded Union runes touched each other.”

Adalina furrowed her brow. She reached out her hand for Alec’s. “May I?”

Alec held out his hand, and her cool fingers swept across his wrist. Though cool on his unmarked skin, when she touched the rune, the burning sensation started again, and her fingers came away bloody. She repeated the gesture on Magnus’ hand.

“He’s not in a happy place right now.” She said somberly.

“I know. When our runes touched, I - I felt and heard everything. Burning flames. Magnus screaming.”

“But his rune - yours is bleeding, and it feels like it burns, yes?”

“Yes.”

“His is the exact opposite. It is the one part of him that is happy, that is peaceful. And when you touch them, that reverses.”

“Wait, so you’re telling me that when I’m touching Magnus - when our runes are touching - he isn’t feeling the pain and torment that he’s feeling right now? He’s free, and at peace?”

“For that moment, yes, but -”

Alec didn’t listen, and snatched up Magnus’ hand again, pressing their runes together, wanting, _needing_ , Magnus to not feel that torment. To be at peace, after Alec had abandoned him in this state for hours as he worked through his own guilt over what he’d done to the city. Alec hadn’t known, _he hadn’t known_ , if he’d known Magnus was suffering while “stable”, he would have been there immediately. The pain and agony washed over him again, but this time he held on, knowing that every moment he was feeling it, Magnus wasn’t. He was distantly aware of someone calling out his name, but he didn’t respond, this was too important, _Magnus_ was too important, making sure Magnus wasn’t in pain was the most important thing in the world -

\- and he was roughly torn back to his own reality, Jace and Max each holding him by a shoulder, Isabelle and Lydia stepping between him and the bed.

“What are you doing?” Alec asked angrily. “Magnus is in _pain_ , I need to stop it -”

“Yes, you need to stop it.” Isabelle said. “ _Stop_ it, Alec. Not alleviate it. You need to bring him out of this world that’s causing him pain. You don’t need to take that pain on yourself. What did we _just_ talk about?”

“Isabelle’s right, Alec.” Lydia said gently. “This isn’t helping Magnus. Helping Magnus is figuring out how to fix it. How to wake him up.”

“I can’t leave him like this, I can’t.”

“You don’t have to leave anyone.” Lydia said. “You need to figure out what to do to fix it. What can we do to help?”

“You can’t.” Alec said despondently. “You can’t. It has to be me. It’s that damned conflict between angelic and demonic energies again, it has to be me. I’m the only one who can do it.”

“You have to do it, but the rest of us can help you figure out what it is.” Maryse said, coming around to stand next to Isabelle and Lydia. “Is it as simple as you lifting the book away? Are there runes involved that you could use - be they angelic or demonic? A more complex incantation? Silent Brothers, warlocks that can help?”

“The Silent Brothers left.” Alec huffed. “I’m on my own.”

Jace’s fingers dug into Alec’s shoulder. “You’re never alone. You know that. Give me your stele.”

Alec turned around to look at Jace, staring at him dumbly, not processing what Jace was asking.

“Your stele.” Jace said, snapping his fingers, rolling his eyes as Alec still didn’t respond and pulling it out of Alec’s belt himself. He yanked Alec’s shirt up without asking, and slashed a Connection rune over his parabatai rune, doing the same to himself.

Before Alec could figure out what precisely was going on, Jace shoved past Lydia and Isabelle and knelt next to Magnus’ bed. He carved another Connection rune into his palm, and a second on Magnus’, and slammed the stele onto the floor, getting everyone’s attention.

“Solve this.” Jace said, eyes burning into Alec’s, Alec’s eyes widening as he finally began to understand what was happening.

Alec tried to move forward, to stop him, but was blocked by Lydia and Isabelle, and Alec could only watch as Jace pressed his Connection rune to Magnus’, an expression of agony passing over his parabatai’s features as he clung to Magnus’ hand.

Alec felt a buzzing in his veins, but none of his runes hurt. Whatever Magnus - or now Jace - was going through, was passing _through_ Alec, but not touching him. He looked at Magnus’ face, and saw his features relax, and he knew that what Jace was doing was working the same as when he’d done it himself.

Jace tried to school his features to neutral as much as he could, but a howl of pain slipped from his lips just as Clary burst in the door. She ran straight for him, but Isabelle grabbed her before she could reach Jace.

“What’s going on?” Clary asked as she struggled. “What’s happening to him? We need to stop it!”

“It was his choice.” Isabelle whispered. “We need to respect that. Come on. We need to help Alec figure out how to help Magnus, and then this will all be over.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Wherever Magnus is, it is causing him a lot of pain. Jace is helping him so he doesn’t have to go through it alone. We need Alec to fix what’s causing it, since it needs demonic and angelic energies. We just need to figure out what specifically that is.”

Clary stopped struggling and nodded. “Okay. So what do we do?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec digs into the mysteries of the Book of Raziel to figure out how to solve the book's hold on Magnus, as Isabelle's concern for her brother's well-being grows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Sorry I missed posting to this story last week, but [Every time we fall to pieces we build something new out of the hurt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14719133) (warning, 3x10 Erchomai spoilers) commanded all of my attention. But we're back this week, and now with hiatus, no new canon to get distracted by <3

“So what do we do?” Alec repeated Clary’s question. “I don’t know. And I don’t think it is _we_ anything. Magnus is being tormented because he’s in contact with a pure angelic artifact. The only reason it hasn’t killed him is because of his bond to me - and, I suspect at least to some extent, the fact that his father is a fallen angel. It’s not unlike when I was being torn apart by angelic and demonic energies, except they’re not _in_ him, so the solution isn’t the same. But fixing it will fall to me, since I have both of those energies within me.”

“Izzy, what about your angelic power?” Clary asked. “It can take away pain, right? Then we wouldn’t need Jace there, and Magnus would feel fine?”

Isabelle looked at Magnus and Jace warily. “That has the potential of going either really well or really _really_ badly. I… I know I’ve used it to take away pain for Downworlders who were dying and in pain, so it _works_ on non-Shadowhunters, but with an angelic artifact in the mix, I don’t want to risk it. He could die if it goes wrong. I won’t do it, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Izzy.” Alec said tiredly, pulling his sister close. “You don’t have to apologize. I get it. And I don’t want to play those odds either.”

“What is that book, anyway?” Clary asked, looking at it and shuddering. “What kind of Shadowhunter book would do that to him?”

“It isn’t a Shadowhunter book.” Alec said. “It’s from the Angel himself.”

“Raziel.” Clary said.

“The one and only. The Book of Raziel.”

“Should… I mean, you know Raziel. Could you call on him and ask him to stop his book from doing that to Magnus? He knows Magnus too, right?”

“Ignoring the fact that we’d need the Mortal Mirror for that, which is in hostile Clave territory, summoning an angel is not something one does for a personal problem.” Alec said tightly. “And I hate it, I do, I wish the Angel could just fix everything, but that’s not how it works. The Angel may favour me, but… if I ask a boon of him for something like this, it could spell real danger for Shadowhunters down the line. He might not help them when they really need it, because he’ll feel that humanity has used up its favours. So as much as it pains me… no. We can’t.”

“Where did this book even come from? Sorry, I’m not up to speed.” Clary asked.

“It is a long story, but it was in the possession of the local High Warlock, who bound it to a demonic book, and then gave it to a Nephilim boy, who was unaware that he’s one of us, and was raised to be actively hostile towards us.” Alec looked at Clary. “So a lot like you were, only he knows about the Shadow World. Thought he just had the Sight.”

“His name’s Kit.” Isabelle said. “He told me that much.”

“Well, regardless of who he is, he doesn’t trust Shadowhunters. So much so that when Magnus and I were reaching for the book - since we needed to do it together because of the bindings it was under - he pulled it away from me and threw it at Magnus. And now we see what that did.”

“Would the book do that if it hadn’t been under those bindings?” Lydia asked. “I mean, if Malcolm had been handling it before, to give it to the boy… it shouldn’t be dangerous to non-Shadowhunters.”

“I see what you’re saying.” Alec said thoughtfully. “You know, you could be right. Gurak said I broke the bindings of the two books when I unleashed that wave of magic. But it was still under the binding when it touched Magnus, meaning that… meaning that…” Alec trailed off, reaching for an answer and trying to keep his cool when one wasn’t forthcoming.

“The book bound to Magnus instead?” Clary offered. “Or the binding of it hurt Magnus, and even though the binding is broken, the part that burned it to him still lingered, like… like it is still a part of it. It found something else demonic to bind itself to - Magnus’ blood - while the spell was still active.”

“Whatever it is… the answer probably lies within the book, as much as it pains me to say it.” Lydia said.

Alec shuddered, holding back tears as he looked back to the bed, and again focusing on the whimpers of pain coming from his parabatai. He’d tried to block them out, but now knowing he’d have to sit or stand there, leafing through a book that was seared into his husband’s skin - the memory of that pain threatened to overwhelm him.

“Get me a chair.” Alec said in a low voice. “Then I want all of you to go. I don’t want any distractions - just - just go. Talk to Adalina and Gurak about the spell reversal for the Blackthorns or something. This I need to do myself.”

“Alec-”

“ _Go._ ” Alec wasn’t even sure who had spoken to him, his entire focus zeroing onto the book that should have been a great tool for good, but was now harming those that he loved.

And that made it the enemy. Alec didn’t care if the Angel himself had written it, if he had to destroy it and its power to be able to free Magnus and wake him up, he’d do so without hesitation.

The chair he’d asked for appeared, and he moved towards it, sitting down in what had to be the worst position imaginable, right in front of Jace and with a perfect view of both Jace and Magnus’ faces, and the torment that slipped back and forth between them as Jace’s grip faltered. But it was the only position in which he could read the book effectively, given its position.

Alec took a deep breath and reached for the hard cover of the book, opening it as gently as he could without shifting it on Magnus’ skin too much. He held the cover up, so that it wouldn’t drop and touch even more of Magnus’ skin, lest it cause even more damage than it already had. Alec ran his fingers over the tissue-thin pages, trying to focus in on the text as he hoped - _prayed_ \- that it would be in a language that he understood, or one that his Translation rune would be able to interpret for him.

_These are the words of the Angel Raziel, as set down by him for the children of Eisheth, to bring love and humanity into their world, so that they may flourish and grow in this Earth that was created for them. So too can they be bestowed upon the children of Agrat, should they wish to hear and heed these words._

Alec was confused, knowing from his studies that Eisheth and Agrat were demons, ancient demons, Eisheth even a fallen angel like Asmodeus. Why would Raziel be writing a book for Eisheth’s children? He knew from Magnus that there weren’t many warlocks of fallen angel parentage, and none of the ones Magnus had named were children of Eisheth, and yet this book seemed to reference them as if they were legion. Not to mention _this Earth that was created for them?_ No version of history that Alec knew had the Earth created for the purpose of demon children.

There was something very wrong with either the book, or with the history Alec had learned. But given what the book had already proven itself capable of, and how it had been able to be an equal tether to the Black Volume of the Dead, there was no question as to its authenticity. It had to be an angelic artifact, but older than one that the Shadowhunters had ever known.

His heart beating in his ears as he read more, Alec was drawn into the book and the stories it was spinning, each seeming more fanciful than the last, each conflicting with every story of the early days that Alec had ever heard. It all seemed so improbable, and yet - this book would have no reason to lie.

He was shocked out of his concentration by a two-toned blood-curdling scream. Alec looked up and saw that the scream he was hearing was passing seamlessly between Magnus and Jace, and though Jace’s grip on Magnus’ hand was now firm, it didn’t seem as if either of them were experiencing any moments of relief.

Alec looked back to the book, and saw drops of blood, _his_ blood, dripping from his Wedded Union rune and fading into the thin pages, as if they were hungry for them, each red drop shimmering into obsidian as it rolled across the page - against gravity and not leaving any marks, Alec noted - then melting into the pages, leaving pinpricks of gold where they disappeared. He watched with a morbid fascination, as more and more of his blood sank into the book, until almost the entire page he was on had turned a shimmering gold.

He heard distant screaming, and became aware of the sense of burning in his veins, flames licking up his spine, a searing pain so intense that it threatened to explode every cell in his body, until -

\- peace. Alec opened his eyes, and the pain was gone. He frowned, surveying the ceiling, feeling the cool tile of the infirmary floor beneath him, and wondered how he ended up there, when he’d just been sitting in the chair, looking at the book -

The book. Alec shot up to sitting, wincing as his forehead collided with someone else’s, bouncing back from the impact, but strong arms caught him before he landed on the floor again.

“… Ow.” Isabelle said, rubbing her forehead, reflexively pulling out a stele and activating both her and Alec’s healing runes.

“I… I’m sorry? I don’t know how I ended up on the floor.”

“Typical.” Isabelle sighed. “You do an intense magical ritual that draws almost all of your strength, and you’re the one apologizing for it.”

Alec frowned. “Magical ritual? I wasn’t. I was just reading the book, and -” Alec scrambled to his feet, Isabelle wisely moving out of the way this time.

The book was still splayed out on Magnus’ chest, open to the page Alec was reading, but it was no longer seared into Magnus’ skin. Magnus’ face was peaceful, as it usually was in sleep, and Jace was laid out on the floor much as Alec had been, his hand still loosely grasped with Magnus’, though he was also unconscious. He also was at peace - no sign of the screams and torment that had been there just seconds before.

“I - I don’t understand.” Alec said, whirling around to face Isabelle and Lydia. “What happened?”

“You did it.” Isabelle said. “Whatever spell you found in that book… it unbound Magnus from it. He’s safe. Jace is safe. You’re all safe. Though your screaming did worry me. Again.”

“Screaming?” Alec asked. “I wasn’t - I mean - I didn’t do anything. I didn’t perform any spell. I just -” He looked at his Wedded Union rune, but it was its usual shimmering gold colour.

“Alec.” Lydia said. “ _Something_ happened to the book to unbind it from Magnus. We heard you screaming, and when we got here, you were convulsing on the floor, your eyes - one of your eyes was gold, the other black. Not both like they usually are for you, but each one a solid colour. I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“I have.” Isabelle said. “I’ve seen it.”

“When?” Both Alec and Lydia asked.

“During the ritual.” Isabelle said. “The ritual after you were whipped by the Seelie Queen. There were some moments where your eyes were that colour.”

Alec ran his fingers over the Wedded Union rune, feeling nothing but peace flowing through his bond. “This was bleeding. Jace and Magnus were both screaming too. I could hear them, you couldn’t hear them?”

Isabelle and Lydia both shook their heads.

“I heard them. While I was reading the book. What it said, it - it doesn’t make sense. Not with our histories as we know them. But - I heard them screaming. Both of them. And my rune started bleeding. Onto the book. And it was as if the book _liked_ it, the book kept swallowing up my blood, for lack of a better word - first making it look - look like _this_.” Alec pulled the hem of his t-shirt back at the neck, to show the obsidian scars on his shoulder from his battle with Asmodeus. “And then turning gold as it disappeared into the pages.”

Isabelle surveyed the book. “Almost this entire page is gold. It wasn’t before?”

Alec shook his head. “It wasn’t. My blood _made_ it that way.”

“That must have been what released the book.” Lydia surmised. “The book recognized your angelic and demonic blood, and that released the binding.”

Gurak and Maryse came around the privacy screen, surveying the scene in front of them.

“Very good, Mr Lightwood.” Gurak said. “You found the spell.”

“I didn’t find a spell. It was… it was just my blood. Going _through_ the book.”

“That is magic in its own way.” Gurak said. “Blood magic is one of the strongest of all magics.”

“But why isn’t Magnus awake? Why isn’t Jace awake?”

“They’ve been through a harrowing experience. Like as not their brains want to take some time to recuperate before returning to the waking world. I can’t put a timeline as to when they’ll wake, but rest assured knowing that nothing is harming them anymore.”

“Just to be sure about that…” Alec snapped the cover of the Book of Raziel closed, gingerly lifting it up from Magnus’ chest, but not encountering any resistance. He tucked it under his arm - he wasn’t giving this book to _anyone_ until he solved the mystery of it - and ran his fingers lightly over Magnus’ chest, where the book had been. No longer a scorched angry red and black, the skin was healing, but it would certainly leave a scar. At least Alec assumed it would - scars caused by angelic weapons could not be magicked away, but did the same apply to scars caused by other angelic artifacts? That wasn’t an answer that Alec had.

The questions the book presented nagged at him, Alec was never satisfied until he had all the answers to a question, this was no different. But he could feel the weight of stares on him as the others began to reassemble behind him, wanting to draw him away to yet another responsibility, when all he wanted was to whisk Magnus away to safety, take them somewhere where they couldn’t be disturbed, where they could puzzle out the mysteries of the book together.

_But wait._ A voice echoed in his mind. _It’s not for him to know._

Alec furrowed his brow, trying to identify the source of that voice, he recognized it somehow, but where he couldn’t pinpoint -

\- a tug on his arm brought him back to reality.

“Alec? Alec!” Isabelle barked sharply into his ear. “You all right?”

Alec blinked. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just - I’m holding onto this.” He held up the Book of Raziel. “I need to - I need to figure out how exactly that worked. How my blood could just melt this book away from Magnus.” That seemed like the most sensible answer.

“Of course.” Isabelle said. “But we have other things we need to do here, before we can take Magnus back to New York. Remember?”

Alec remembered, but it seemed a distant long-ago memory, though realistically wasn’t more than twelve hours ago, that he and Magnus had stepped out of a Portal into the entrance hall of the Los Angeles Institute.

So much could change in so short a time.

Alec shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs and focus on the tasks at hand. Magnus was all right. He needed to sleep, but he would heal. There were Blackthorns to be helped, Magnus didn’t need to be present for that. He could still rest. But Jace… Jace was needed.

“We still need Jace.” Alec heard himself say. “We need him for the ritual.”

“Alec, are you sure you’re okay?” This time the voice was Maryse’s, full of concern.

“I’m fine.” He snapped. “Let’s - we need to wait for Jace to wake up anyway. Start getting the ritual set up. In the library, not here. I don’t want that spell to come close to Magnus, just in case.”

The people around him nodded, but didn’t leave, all still observing him, and Alec could feel an uncharacteristic anger building within him.

“What are you waiting for? _Go!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two hours of sleep and nine hours before I need to be headed to the airport for a flight to Istanbul - so yell at me (nicely!) if grammar went weird anywhere. Catch you all when I'm back in Europe! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace wakes up as Alec contemplates the Book of Raziel, necessitating turning his attention to the ritual to remove the curse from the Blackthorns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** This chapter gets a bit gross and painful for some characters (for once not Alec!), they are removing a necromantic curse, after all.

As everyone finally - _finally_ \- drifted away, leaving him alone with Magnus and Jace’s sleeping forms, Alec returned his attention to the book in his hand.

The Book of Raziel.

He and Magnus had spent a fair amount of time over the past five years going over everything that the Angel had told both of them - both when Alec had seen him in his battle with Asmodeus during the trial of Hemarton, and when Magnus had spoken to him at Lake Lyn, before he had granted Magnus’ wish. What the Angel had said, what they’d said. They’d analyzed every syllable, every moment.

And now - this book, that neither of them had anticipated. Alec had heard the legends, of course, that the Angel had codified his knowledge into a book, but while all of the legends were vague on what precisely the book’s contents _were_ , none of them made mention of anything close to what he’d seen within its pages.

Alec wondered how much of those legends was the Clave’s hubris, full of their belief that the Angel spoke only to them among all earthly beings. Or if the misdirection was on purpose, created to mask the true story within.

After all, if what it said was true - if the children of Eisheth -

_Wait._

Alec’s blood ran cold, and his grip on the book tightened as he thought back to a promise he’d made five years ago now. A promise made in a desperate attempt to save the world from Valentine. Not one he’d ever forgotten, but as he’d promised Magnus to live in the present, he’d pushed it to the far edges of his mind to prevent it from taking over his every thought.

Is _this_ what the Seelie Queen wanted? The boy - Kit - had mentioned being familiar with the Shadow Market, and he’d certainly possessed an artifact he didn’t understand the meaning of. And while Alec knew that Kit was within the walls of the Los Angeles Institute now, for his own protection, would that really count as him asking Alec for that protection? And, if he were to be technical about it, the Seelie Queen - for he had analyzed their conversation as much as he had his conversation with the Angel - had said that the boy would give the artifact to him. This was precisely the type of Seelie loophole that he could make use of, for Kit had not given the book to him, he’d given the book to Magnus, with devastating consequences.

Alec needed that loophole. Desperately. Because there was no way he was giving this book to the Seelie Queen. Not when he had so many questions that needed answering. Questions that the book created, as well as questions about his own power - and he suspected the book might also be able to help answer those questions too.

Out of the corner of his eye, Alec saw Jace shift on the floor, sensing that he was beginning to wake up. While his concern for his parabatai nagged at the edges of his mind, he knew that Jace waking up would mean that he’d be torn away from Magnus and his exploration of the book, pulled away from the answers he so desperately needed. Bringing the book into the other ritual would be dangerous beyond measure, who knew what the dark forces being pulled from the Blackthorns could do to this book.

Should he leave it here with Magnus? No, that was too obvious, the Silent Brothers might return and take it away now that it wasn’t fused to Magnus’ skin anymore.

If he hid it on Magnus, and Magnus awoke while they were in the other ritual, Magnus could read it, and something nagged at Alec to say that this would be not be productive, not if he was alone and without Alec to help understand its context. If - _if_ \- Magnus read it, Alec had to be there.

Left without other options as Jace began to groan and open his eyes, Alec pressed a hand to the cover of the Book of Raziel, whispering a spell that sent it to his secured vault in his and Magnus’ loft, set across the hall from Magnus’ own vault, both covered in layers of magical protection that only they could touch.

It would have to do for now. Alec schooled his features to a look of relief, and moved to kneel at his parabatai’s side, helping Jace sit up.

“Alec.” Jace said. “Ow.” He winced as he rubbed at the palm of his hand, where the Connection rune was fading.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“Yes, I did. Otherwise you’d still be taking Magnus’ pain onto yourself instead of getting rid of the source of that pain. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Thank you, Jace. Thank you.” Alec hugged Jace to him, looking past him to see if Magnus was waking yet, but Magnus slept on. He’d been in the nightmare realm a lot longer than Jace had, _a lot longer_ , Alec admonished himself, it would take him longer to recover. It was only natural. It didn’t mean that Magnus was in trouble. It was healthy. It was fine. He was _safe_.

Maybe if Alec repeated it enough, he’d believe it.

But the worry still lingered.

“How are you feeling?” Alec asked, trying to focus his attention on his parabatai.

“Like hell.” Jace said cheerfully. “Which I suppose that was, in a way. But I’ll live. Magnus will too. He - he felt you there. He knew that you were out here, trying to help him. And you did.”

“Way too late.” Alec muttered. “I left him like this for _hours_. Because I didn’t know, I didn’t -”

“Alec.” Jace said sternly, holding Alec’s shoulder. “None of that matters. Not to me, and not to him. He knows you’d never do anything to intentionally hurt him. Or anyone. That you’d rather destroy yourself than hurt anyone else.”

“Yeah, well.” Alec scoffed. “He’ll have a rude awakening when he wakes and sees what I did to this city.”

“No one was hurt. Isabelle told me. A lot of property damage, but the people are fine. Downworlder and mundane alike. Now, where is everyone else? We came here to help the Blackthorns, didn’t we? We better be quick, Deepali was out on patrol so I had to leave the Institute in Vincent’s hands. And you know how that kid is if you tell him he’s allowed to give orders.”

“They’re getting set up in the library here. You should join them.”

“Alec. From what Izzy said, you need to be there for the ritual too. Don’t worry, Magnus will be all right.”

“I don’t want him to be alone.”

Jace rolled his eyes. “While he’s bound to your sentimental ass, he’ll never be alone. Come on. The faster we get this thing with the Blackthorns done, the faster we can take Magnus back to New York, and he can wake up in your own bed.”

“Fine. Okay.” Alec could feel the energy that Jace was pushing through the parabatai bond into him, though he felt that it should have been the other way, after what Jace had just gone through. But Jace could sense that Alec’s thoughts weren’t focused like they needed to be, and their bond gave him the balance he needed to try to focus on the task at hand.

Alec helped Jace stand, and after giving Magnus a light kiss to reassure himself that he was there, that he was healing, Alec led the way to the library so that they could join the others.

The shelves all pushed to the sides, the Blackthorns were already laid out on the floor in a seven-pointed star, ritual markings on the ground beneath them. Emma and a comatose Aline were in the centre of the star, and Alec could see spots marked out between the seven that he assumed would be for the others of them who would be participating in the ritual.

Jace left his side to go hug Clary, while Alec focused his attention on Adalina and Gurak, who would presumably be leading the ritual. They were conferring over the Black Volume in the corner as Alec joined them.

“Jace is awake.” Alec said by way of greeting. “Will we be able to get started soon?”

“Just about.” Gurak said. “We’ve contacted the other members of the High Council, and they’ve given their approval for the ritual. Agostinho and Bian Minh are standing by outside, should something go wrong and they have a need to contain the fallout. Now we just need to figure out the best arrangement for all of you. We’ve put Miss Carstairs and Ms Penhallow-Blackthorn in the middle, since they have the closest connections to the Blackthorns, but for the rest of you seven, I’m not certain of the best placement.”

“Have you made sense of the spell that Malcolm had been using? Could that provide a hint?”

Gurak looked at the book and then over at the Blackthorns. “The spell did seem to attack each of them in turn. After Andrew Blackthorn’s blood was used to begin the ritual, it reached for his eldest child next, and then on down the line. That’s why you’ll see the oldest members of the family have been touched worse than the youngest.”

“Then perhaps we should also be arranged by age? So that if this ritual does drain us in some fashion, it won’t take more than anyone has to give?”

Adalina nodded. “I think that’s a good idea. If you could, please. Your brother Max should be between the two youngest, and then go from there as appropriate.”

Alec left the warlocks to their continued deliberations, and moved to join his family and the others, directing them all into place. First Max, then Clary, Isabelle, Jace, Lydia, himself, and Maryse in the final position, between Helen and Octavian.

Once they were all in position, Adalina moved around the circle, stopping to confer with Jace, slipping something around his wrist as he nodded. Jace didn’t look angry, but Alec felt an angry flare in his parabatai rune as soon as whatever it was came into contact with Jace’s skin. Adalina stopped to fasten similar bracelets around Aline’s and Mark’s wrists before turning to Alec.

“You’ll need this.” Adalina said, reaching for Alec’s wrist, but he pulled back.

“What is that?” Alec asked suspiciously.

“Just something to constrain your demon blood. Temporarily. For this to work, all of you need to be channeling pure angelic energies only. Gurak and I will be drawing out the necromantic poison, and we can’t have any surprises along the way. It might not feel nice, your blood will try to fight it, but it’s necessary. Otherwise it could try to fight the ritual. Jace needs it for his shadow of demon blood and connection to you, Mark and Helen for their Seelie heritage, Aline for her bond to Helen. And for you, well, you know you’re unique.”

“All right.” Alec held out his wrist, and let Adalina slip the bracelet around his wrist, feeling it bite into his skin on contact, but trying to shake off the _wrong_ feeling of it all and focus on what needed to be done.

Adalina placed the last bracelet on Helen’s wrist, and then stepped out of the circle, circling back around to come to a position standing behind Clary. Gurak took up a position directly across from Adalina, at Mark’s feet, where he lay between Lydia and Alec.

“Let’s begin.” Gurak said. “Shadowhunters in the outer circle, please join hands. And _do not let go_. No matter what happens, do not let go. Letting go will endanger us all. Miss Carstairs, if you could please arrange yourselves so that you are sitting back to back with Ms Penhallow-Blackthorn, facing at a 90 degree angle to myself and Adalina. Place your hands in the spots indicated. It will be imperative that you keep her hands in place, Miss Carstairs, since she won’t be able to do it herself.”

Alec joined hands with Lydia and Maryse, as Emma struggled to pull Aline into position, hunching forwards so that the older woman’s body couldn’t fall forwards and move her hands out of place. Once they were ready, Adalina and Gurak began to chant.

The temperature in the room dropped immediately, and the lights went dark, the only light visible a white glow that emanated from the standing Shadowhunters, sinking into the floor and running along lines drawn to the middle of the circle, making contact with Emma and Aline’s hands. Once the light energy connected, the magic drew both Emma and Aline sitting to attention, though Alec could see that Emma was still struggling to hold Aline’s hands in place next to her own. The entire small circle they sat in illuminated with light, which began to slowly inch outwards, to touch the Blackthorns laid out around them.

“You will each feel the poison trying to draw you in, to try and continue to feed the spell.” Adalina yelled as Gurak continued to chant. “Don’t move. Your connection with the others will protect you. Just don’t let go.”

Alec felt what Adalina described immediately, like hooks sinking into his skin, trying to pull him under, but he fought against them, his whole body shaking with the effort, and while his mother stood as still as a statue on one side of him, Alec felt Lydia struggling on his other side, their grip growing increasingly slippery. He planted his feet solidly before venturing a look at their joined hands, and only a panicked warning shout from Clary stopped him from instinctively pulling his hand away from Lydia’s after he saw what was happening.

His entire hand below the bracelet was bleeding and dripping black, a substance that looked almost like blood, but Alec couldn’t feel any sort of pain besides the sting of the bracelet itself. It was having a completely different effect on Lydia, however, as it burned its way up her arm, tracing the patterns of her veins on her skin. On her other side, Jace gave Alec a panicked look, as his braceleted hand - also joined with Lydia - was dripping the same substance.

“Don’t let go.” Lydia moaned as she began to shake even more. “ _Don’t let go._ ”

A small whimper from the centre of the circle drew Alec’s attention for a moment, and he noticed that Emma was experiencing the same as Lydia, as the black substance dripped from Aline’s hand onto hers. A quick look to the floor, and Alec saw that the substance was also dripping from Mark and Helen, oozing across the floor. But at the same time, it seemed as if the sickly black-green of the necromantic curse was beginning to retreat from their skin, so perhaps this was what was supposed to happen?

Alec and Jace both shifted their stances to provide as much support to Lydia as they could, as the chanting continued, and Alec feared that Lydia might soon pass out. He thought he heard the rumbling of thunder directly overhead, even though they were indoors, and the floor trembled beneath their feet, making Lydia sway dangerously, when a large _clap_ sounded, and everything stopped as suddenly as it started.

The lights flickered back on, temperature beginning to return to normal, and Alec saw Adalina nod in satisfaction. “It’s done.” She said. “You can let go now.”

Lydia dropped to her knees, retching, spitting up more and more of the black substance that had been slicking her hands. Alec dropped down next to her, holding her hair back with his clean hand. Clary was likewise helping Emma in the middle of the circle.

“I’m sorry.” Adalina said. “That power should have channeled through us warlocks, our constitutions are better built to handle it. But despite our efforts at insulating demon blood from the spell, the curse still chose those vectors over us to dispel itself, to the detriment of those beside it.”

“So - so they’ll - _uggh_ \- they’ll wake up?” Emma asked between heaves. “They’ll - they’ll be okay?”

“Right as rain, any minute now.” Gurak said.

“Will this have any lasting effects?” Alec asked, looking at Lydia with concern as she still trembled and retched out more of the black tar-like substance.

“Hard to say.” Gurak said. “In normal channels, the sacrifice that it would have taken to revive the Blackthorns would have been equivalent slivers of life force of each of the participants. But this appears to have manifested differently, with the bulk of suffering channeled into these two girls.”

“I’m sorry.” Alec whispered. “I’m sorry, Lydia. Seems like I say that a lot.”

Lydia smiled even as she retched up more of the black goo. “It’s - it’s okay. The Blackthorns - are - are family to me.”

Beside them, Mark opened his eyes and groaned, sitting up slowly. “What the hell?” He whined, holding his head in his hands, grimacing as he discovered one of them was covered in the black substance. “What the hell is this?”

“I was about to ask the same question.” Came Helen’s voice, as she sat up gingerly, surveying her tar-slick hand. “What happened?”

“Your family was hit by a powerful necromantic curse.” Gurak said. “As we understand it, your wife prevented it from being completed, but it took a heavy toll on all of you, and an equally heavy toll to get rid of it.”

Helen looked around frantically, panicking as she saw Aline lying in the middle of the circle, still unconscious. She crawled over to her as quickly as she could, tears streaming down her face.

“She isn’t dead, is she?” Helen wept. “Aline didn’t die for me, did she?”

“No, no.” Adalina said. “Don’t you worry. She helped bring you back to life, yes, but her ailment is of a different nature. One that you can cure with a simple kiss.”

Helen didn’t stop to ask for details, and pulled Aline up into her arms, kissing her gently, and breathing a sigh of relief as her eyelashes fluttered, eyes slowly opening.

“You’re awake.” Aline murmured, reaching a hand up to stroke Helen’s cheek. “I was so worried.”

“So was I.” Helen said tearfully. “I don’t even know all what happened here, but - I woke up, and you looked almost _dead_ and if it was because of me - I never would’ve forgiven myself.”

“I’m okay. We’re both okay.”

Aline sat up, and she and Helen kissed again, oblivious to everyone else in the room. Alec averted his eyes to give the women their privacy, seeing the rest of the Blackthorns waking up. Isabelle and Clary were helping the twins, as Julian had taken over rubbing Emma’s back as she expelled the last of the black substance. Max and Maryse calmed Drusilla and Octavian, reassuring them that Emma and Lydia would be fine given some time.

Alec looked back to Lydia, and saw that she’d stopped retching up the substance, though the black traces along her veins remained. Whether they would fade, he didn’t know, looking now at the bracelet around his wrist, as if he could blame it for Lydia’s suffering, wondering if it hadn’t been there if he’d have been the one in that position instead.

He ripped it off his wrist, feeling the warlock side of his magic flood back into him, and with it, a sharp throbbing in the binding rune on the right side of his abdomen.

_Magnus._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One happy reunion completed! But what will await Alec when he returns to Magnus' side?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus finds out what happened while he was unconscious, and Alec asks Helen to take on a heavy task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, a few days earlier than usual, but this weekend is Pride, so I needed to get this out first ;) Happy Pride everyone, and remember #loveislove!

Alec ran from the library, oblivious to shouts behind him, heading straight for the infirmary. He considered just Portalling, but his magic felt unsteady and unbalanced after being bound up for the ritual, and he didn’t want to risk mistakes, not when he was so close.

He also wasn’t certain whether he was imagining the floor moving and tilting under him, the walls around him rattling, or whether it was real. All that Alec cared about was getting back to Magnus.

Diving through the doors of the infirmary, Alec saw that the building shaking was a reality, as those tending to the wounded were moving in the other direction, fleeing out of the room, as Alec began to realize that the epicentre of the vibrations was on the other side of the privacy screen at the far end of the room.

_Magnus._

Alec crossed the remaining distance as quickly as he could, ripping back the privacy screen to see what was happening to his husband.

He relaxed, some, when it appeared that Magnus was, himself, fine, though he seemed unaware of the building shifting around him, sitting up in the bed and staring at his trembling hands. He looked up at Alec’s arrival, confusion plain all over his face.

“What’s wrong with me?” Magnus whispered. “What happened?”

Alec sat down on the bed next to Magnus, gripping his hands in his own, resting their foreheads together. “Just breathe with me. Breathe.”

Magnus took a few quick breaths, then breathed out slowly, trying to align his breathing to Alec’s, but as soon as he did, instead of providing calm, as it usually did when they worked closely together, the shaking in the room intensified, beds and tables skittering away from them as waves of magic rolled off their skin.

Alec tried to cling to Magnus’ hands even tighter, as if that could stop the magic, but Magnus tore his hands free, gripping the sides of the bed, cat eyes glinting as he stared at Alec.

“Alexander, what did you _do_?”

“I…” Alec was at a loss for words. Never had he seen Magnus look at him with such an accusing glare, not since that night - that night when the truth of the Soul Sword came out. “I… I didn’t mean to.”

“I’m not interested in what you meant or didn’t mean to do, I just need to know what it is so that I can _stop_ it. I can feel that the flames of Edom have passed through me into this world, and my magic’s reaction to you tells me that you were involved somehow, so Alexander, _tell me what you did_.”

“I…”

“ _Alexander,_ now!”

“I… we were in the basement of that house, helping that boy who had the book… but he didn’t trust me, he didn’t give the book to us, he threw it at you, and it seared into your skin and you screamed and it was so awful, I thought you were dying, and… and I lashed out, the Alliance rune was still active… Gurak and Cristina were able to protect themselves and the boy, but I devastated half of central Los Angeles. With your magic. I didn’t meant to, Magnus, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Alec slid to the floor, unable to look at Magnus. He tried to wipe away the tears that sprang up, but only succeeded in rubbing the black tar-like substance that still coated one of his hands all over his face. Sobs wracked his body as all sorts of scenarios went through his mind - and how what had seemed to be a simple evening mission to help Los Angeles suddenly had the potential to tear his world into pieces.

It took him long minutes to realize that the building itself had stopped shaking, but Magnus was kneeling on the floor in front of him, shaking him, trying to bring him back to reality.

“Alexander. Alexander, please look at me.”

Alec let out a shuddering sigh and finally looked up. “I’m so sorry, Magnus. I - I didn’t mean to violate your magic like that. I didn’t even know I _could_ , though with the Alliance rune -”

“Alexander, it’s all right. I forgive you. You didn’t mean to do it, and there’s not a warlock in this world who hasn’t gone through this.”

“That’s what Adalina and Gurak said.”

“And they were right.” Magnus twisted his mouth. “This is my fault.”

“No, Magnus, it isn’t - how could it be? You were unconscious, you were in agonizing pain, how could this _ever_ be your fault?”

Magnus sighed and dropped back, leaning back up against the bed. His tattered shirt hung loosely off of his shoulders, and it didn’t seem like he had even noticed the scar on his chest yet. He closed his eyes, as if he could block out the world, though one of his hands still reached for Alec, and Alec took it, squeezing tight.

“Magnus, talk to me.”

“I was naïve to think that just because you have angel blood as well as demon blood that this sort of thing wouldn’t happen to you. Especially given our connection, and who I am.”

“Who you are? What, you mean your father? Your blood?”

Magnus nodded. “You know that the reason why I’m more powerful than a lot of warlocks is because of my father. Because my father is a fallen angel and a Prince of Hell. Most warlocks lose control of their powers at one time or another, but how devastating that can be depends on how powerful they are. The older you are, the more powerful you are, but blood also dictates a lot. Since I’m several centuries old, and I’m the son of a Prince of Hell… that’s about as devastating as it can get. While I know how to constrain my power, I didn’t consider the variables involved, and that you might need to learn that as well.”

“How could you have even thought of something like this happening? It was a very particular set of coincidences.”

“It was, but it isn’t the only situation where something like that could happen. We share power on a regular basis, Alexander. I’ve ignored that for too long, because even though I know things have been different for five years now, my mind still thinks of you as a Shadowhunter, because that’s what you do on a daily basis. You head an organization of Shadowhunters. You use your runes. You fight with your seraph blades and runed arrows. Yes, you do magic as well, but it is… almost like an afterthought. Especially given that your Shadowhunters also have angelic magic now. I guess I almost convinced myself that your magic is just like theirs, even when it isn’t.”

“So what you’re saying is… I need to learn and understand my demonic heritage, as it were? I’ve spent decades being a Shadowhunter, but now I should spend that much time learning how to be a warlock as well?”

“In an ideal world, yes, but I know you have responsibilities, it wouldn’t be fair of me, I can’t ask you to -”

“I’ll do it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re right, Magnus. I’ve been neglecting that part of me. I keep telling people to be proud to be Downworlders, or part Downworlder, and that we should all be treated the same, but I’ve never - I mean, I proudly tell people that I’m part Downworlder as well, but - I haven’t really had to understand what that means. Maybe I haven’t even wanted to, I don’t know. But that stops now. I need to understand it. If it will stop what happened from happening again - I have to try. I can’t let it happen again.”

“But you have responsibilities here, you can’t just throw them away.”

“I won’t. I’ll give them into the custody of responsible people who can do them while I’m doing this. They’ll understand. It isn’t - it’s not something selfish. It’s for the safety of everyone. I need to do this. How do we start?”

“A trip to the Spiral Labyrinth should be the first step. Tessa’s living there these days, and since you share the same blood, demon blood that is, she’ll be able to give you some wisdom on that front.”

“But the Spiral Labyrinth also has lots of books, right? Old tomes, ancient manuscripts? Wisdom that you can’t find anywhere else?”

“It does. Why? Does this have something to do with the book that - that -” Magnus finally looked down at his chest, hissing as he ran his fingers over the ridged scars. Alec saw blue magic spark from his fingertips, but nothing happened.

“That was an angelic book.” Magnus said slowly. “Wasn’t it? I can’t heal the scar away.”

“The biggest angelic book there is.” Alec said. “The Book of Raziel himself.”

Magnus let out a low whistle. “That would do it. Where’s the book now?”

“It’s -” Alec stopped. The voice was back again, nagging at the back of his mind, telling him not to say anything to Magnus, but Alec ignored it and plowed onward. “- in my vault. At home. I sent it there. Magnus, it’s - it’s nothing like what the legends say. Everything it says - I need answers. I need answers, and I need that book in a safe location. Not here, not with the Silent Brothers, and _definitely_ not with the Seelie Queen.”

“The Seelie Queen?” Magnus looked puzzled for a moment, but then his eyes widened. “Your promise. A boy from the Shadow Market - you think that was him?”

Alec nodded. “I do. But we have the loophole we need - he didn’t give the book to me. He gave it to you. While I’m sure she’d find some way to argue that, it gives me the time I need to examine it. I - it was awful, Magnus. What it did to you. Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Alexander. That isn’t the first nightmare I’ve ever had.”

“That was more than a nightmare. I _felt_ it, when our Wedded Union runes touched, I felt it and it was agonizing and - it brought you out of that pain for a moment, and I wanted to go back in and stop it, but they - they stopped me, and they didn’t even tell me what was happening for _hours_ , they said you were stable and I trusted them, but -”

“Alexander. I’ll be all right. I know what you did for me. And I know what Jace did. I appreciate it, really, I do. Thank you. To both of you. But all I need is to have you here with me. To talk to me. And hopefully once we’ve sorted everything out here with the Blackthorns, we can go home and have a hot bath and a martini.”

“I - I mean we - we’ve sorted out the Blackthorns. They’re fine. Everyone’s fine.”

“You did the ritual already?”

“Yeah. That’s - that’s why I wasn’t here. I wanted to be here, for when you woke up, but they said you’d probably sleep longer, I’m sorry -”

“Alexander.” Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand. “It’s fine. If that’s all done, and everyone’s all right, that means we can go home. And that’s good. Right?”

“Yeah. I - I just want to talk to everyone first. Tell them - tell them what I need to do. Then we can go straight home, and I - I just need to be out of Institutes for awhile.”

Magnus nodded. “Whatever you need. You know I’ll stand by you, whatever your choices.”

Alec leaned in for a kiss, and felt relief as his lips brushed Magnus’, feeling like his emotions were finally slotting back into the places where they belonged. Magnus was here, they were whole, they would get through this.

“Everyone’s in the library.” Alec said, getting to his feet, reaching a hand to Magnus and helping him stand. “They’ll be happy to see you’re on your feet too.”

“Lead the way.”

Heads turned in their direction as they entered the library, and Isabelle jumped up to give Magnus a big hug.

“You’re all right!” she exclaimed. “Did you feel the building shaking?”

“I’m afraid that was me. Some lingering… effects… of the magic that flowed between me and Alexander. But it’ll be all right now. And it appears that I missed the excitement while I was asleep.” Magnus surveyed the room, eyes lingering on Lydia and Emma, an expression of concern as he saw their black veins. “Are all of you all right?”

“Best as can be expected.” Helen said, squeezing Aline’s hand tight in with one hand, while wiping away a tear with the other. “Aline tells me my father’s dead. As is most of the Institute. I - everything we need to do -”

“We’ve already put out the word to the other Institutes to get reinforcements sent here.” Alec said. “And Max, I know you were due to come here later, but - they need you here now. If you’re good to stay.”

“Of course.” Max said.

“And as the leader of the _Diaitites_ , before all those assembled here as witnesses, I officially confirm you, Helen Blackthorn-Penhallow, as the Head of the Los Angeles Institute. If you accept, that is.”

“I do. That’s - that’s the continuation of power my father wanted. For me to take up the position after him.”

“But do _you_ want it?” Alec asked.

“Yeah. I do. It’s - just an adjustment, that’s all.”

“Okay. Good. I also have some announcements of my own to make. They’ll be sent out to the rest of the Diaitites soon enough, but - I can’t wait.”

“What is it?” Isabelle asked, voice growing concerned as she recognized Alec’s serious tone.

“I - I know this may be supremely bad timing, but with - with everything that’s happened - I need to step back. For awhile.” Alec looked at the Blackthorns. “I don’t know if you’ve looked outside yet, but there’s half a destroyed city there, and that was my fault, because - because I don’t understand all of the power I have access to. I won’t let it happen again. I’m not like the rest of you. I’m not just a Shadowhunter, I’m half warlock, with all of the powers and pitfalls that brings, and until I know what that means… I can’t be in charge. I need to go and learn and understand what it all means.”

“You’re leaving.” Isabelle said, a statement not a question. “For how long?”

“I don’t know.” Alec said honestly. “But it has to be done. I have to step down for now. In the meantime, Helen, I want to ask you if you’d be willing to take the mantle of leadership for the _Diaitites_. I know the timing is absolutely awful, but for now I want it to be in the hands of someone who is part Downworlder, it is important while we’re still working on establishing trust with Downworld communities. And you’re the best qualified for the job. It wouldn’t be for forever. But I don’t know for how long. Will you do it?”

Helen sighed. “You’re right, the timing is horrid. But - since I’m already taking over the Institute, I may as well do this too. I don’t really know your bureaucracy, but -”

“As little as possible. That’s the goal.” Alec smiled. “You already know the Downworld Charter and our guiding principles, those are the main things. But I understand what you’re saying - politics, new Institutes, and all that. Lydia, would you be happy enough to be based out of here in LA for now, instead of New York? You’ve been doing a lot of the _Diaitites_ work, you can get Helen up to speed?”

“Of course.”

Alec turned to Jace. “And I’ll need you to take command of the New York Institute. Mom can help you, if you need it. Please.”

Jace nodded gruffly. “Only because you’re my parabatai. But come back soon. This doesn’t mean you’ll be spending your days laying about your home in Brooklyn and drinking margaritas, does it?”

“As much as I would love to take your brother on a vacation where he drinks margaritas, no, that’s not in the cards.” Magnus said, stepping up next to Alec. “The Spiral Labyrinth will be our first stop. I mean, I will want to stop at home to change and possibly get some proper sleep, but - that’s the logical first place.”

“You’re coming with me?” Alec asked, a note of surprise in his voice.

“Of course I am.” Magnus rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. “Did you really think I’d let you go through this alone? You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Alec smiled. Despite the chaos in his mind, having Magnus by his side helped keep some clarity to his immediate thoughts. It was something he knew he’d need in the coming… days? Weeks? Months? Alec didn’t know how long it would take to get the answers he was seeking.

But if he was with Magnus, if he could keep him safe, keep everyone safe - it would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this the calm before the storm? Yes, yes it is. New story starts next week!


End file.
